Divine Grace

It was just one week ago that I sat

  with the Cardiac Surgeon, stunned.

  'You have to have heart surgery, soon.'

And, just in case my desire to deny

  this reality overtakes my judgment,

  my heart provides constant reminders.

The new symptoms present even before

  I have adjusted to the old symptoms, or

  integrated accommodations into my lifestyle. 

The events of the last month have cast me

  in the role of constantly chasing to catch up

  with a reality that is unfolding with authority,

  determination, precision and an unyielding intent.

I am trying to adjust, to prepare, to make plans.

  But the heart, indifferent to the plans, marches on.

  Tears of exhaustion, pain, frustration, confusion, grief.

Then, the loving, gentle voice in the chaos.

  'You are resisting.  You are trying to control

  that which is beyond you.  Let go, completely.'

All day, that voice captured my heart and soul.

  In conversation, gasping for breath, feeling dizzy...

  Through it all, the loving, quiet yet persistent counsel.

  'Release, surrender all of you, totally and without reserve.'

'Trust in the unfolding.  Allow.  Witness.  Revel.

  For this is a sacred time, a time in which Spirit

  is fully present, intentionally engaged, ever loving.'

I hear.

  I hear you.

  I am listening.

And the tears flowed,

 in reaction to the awareness that 'this really is real';

 in response to the love and compassion shown by so many;

 in release of control, the need to understand, everything, to Spirit;

 in gratitude for the profound learning offered for my development;

 because I am so tired; and 

 in anticipation of whatever is so important that it requires
   that this major cleansing occur with such haste.

I am understanding healing at profound level.

  Healing the physical heart is just the beginning.

  Healing spans the ages, weaves through physical, 

  emotional, intellectual, and reaches to the heavens.  

It is Spirit, 

  animating this flesh, 

  surging through this life 

  with a force and intention

  we can only start to envision,

  but never really comprehend.

It is the All, fully present, always engaged, forever love, eternal, ALL.

I am in awe, in love, 

  profoundly grateful, 

  stunned by the magnificence, 

  humbled by this thing of which I am a part.

And to this, I submit my all.  

  I surrender my being.

I ask for the courage, peace and wisdom

  to let my self fall, 

  completely and without reserve,

  into Divine Grace.

Transcendence

I so wanted everything to be okay.
  It was just a blip, a convergence of
  menopause stuff, a migraine, a virus...
  all of which disturbed an ailing heart.

But, it wasn't.

The heart valve is not well.
  And, its dysfunction is now
  affecting other organs, causing
  dysfunction where once there was none.

Lots of emotions
  to let flow, to honor.
  And then, I must start
  planning, putting everything
  in order for my family, our futures.

I will continue the healing process.
  I will live life fully, each and every moment.
  I will love fully and without abandon.
  I will rejoice in every moment, every breath.

And, I will be so profoundly grateful for
  it all.

Frolic!

How much of our lives do we
  NOT really pay attention
  to the magic in the air?

That's it, you know.
  It's magic.
  Or, so it seems.

Synchronicities abound.
  Like subatomic particles,
  appearing, dissolving, flying,
  colliding, combining, creating.

Everything we need to know.
  All that we need to grow.
  Anything we need.
  It's all there.

Sometimes,
  life grabs you,
  turns you bout face,
  demands that you look.

And in the quiet, it shows
  you the wonder, the elegance,
  the magnificence of this experiment.

So, when you hear the call, find quiet.
  Seek, behold the All in your self.
  And, frolic in the sacred dance.

Yes, frolic!  It's a gift Just for you!
  Dance, sing, laugh, witness the beauty.
  Know that you are full, whole, well, healed.

Then, feel gratitude, give thanks, offer your self
  to the deep healing needed in this world.
  Be part of the synchronicity, the hope.
  Bring light and life and love, today.